By Kim Beaumont
So you’ve bought a new house and turns out it’s the wrong one. In fact, turns out you’re not very in love with it at all. Sounds like a ridiculous and unlikely scenario doesn’t it? Regardless, it’s one I found myself in recently. And after googling “I hate the house I bought” it seems I am not alone. There was many a discussion thread of people telling terrible tales of buying a house and realising soon after it was not the home they wanted.
My realisation came before I even signed the contract. But I have a habit of proceeding with things without really thinking about it until it’s too late. A not so fabulous personal trait I’ve realised about myself. You can spend months, even years, looking for a house to buy and then actually buy in in a matter of minutes. So after searching so hard, how do you get it so wrong?
Buying at auction – I can speak from personal experience about this one. Most houses go to auction and although some houses do get passed in and clearance rates fluctuate throughout the year, many buyers need to be prepared to buy at auction, or they don’t buy.
Auctions can be fraught with danger. It is an ‘on the spot decision’ where you can be competing against many other bidders and the situation has done just that – created a competition whereby the bidder needs to win. This can lead to paying too much for a house or buying house you didn’t really want, you just wanted to win the auction. Sounds crazy but when buyers (aka ME) have been ‘losing out’ at previous auctions, they can get caught up in the need to just ‘buy the house’ especially when they are in with a real chance of winning.
Over it – the waiting game can be very tiresome. With on average 150 homes coming on the market each week during Spring, you would think that there would be many opportunities for you to find the one. But finding the right one can be hard as it may not actually exist. As each house is different you need to re-evaluate each one, what you are prepared to accept and the circumstances of each situation.
Dream vs Reality – there are many a reality TV show now with a property flavour. From The Block to Love it or List It, these shows have given us all an insight into all aspects of the property market. It can leave many of us thinking we can easily buy the worst house in the best street and fix it up (in a matter of weeks) and happily live there forever or easily fix it and move onto the next one. However in reality the ‘Grand Design’ does come at a cost, and takes time. Both of which you may never have enough of to get your house the home you want it to be.
So what to do if you’ve bought a lemon? Well it may not be as easy as making some lemonade and getting the kids to sit out the front and sell it to the neighbours to recoup your costs. It’s not like its a $50 skirt that doesn’t fit and you can just take it back. Or a book you started to read and it’s not really grabbing your attention so you put it back on the shelf to give to Vinnie’s or pass onto a friend one day down the track. This is a house. A major investment both financially and emotionally. This is where you live much of your life. And in my case it’s not just where I live and my life, it’s that of my two small children too. So what to do, what to do???
Sit in it and suck it up – you’ve made your bed, now lie in it. Yes, always a good one and one which is most unhelpful I always find. Normally the advice a mother would give. But sometimes mum does know best and doing nothing is the best option. One of two things will happen. You may find that you don’t hate it that much after all. Once all your possessions are moved in and you’ve sussed out what the best local takeaway options are, you may find yourself feeling more comfortable lying in that bed. If not, sit tight for a while and move on. The market should not have changed that much and if anything (and depending on where you have bought) you may break even or make a little bit without having lifted a finger after 12 months or so.
Flip it – you can be the reality TV show here and be a ‘house flipper’. Which means you do a fairly cosmetic renovation and on-sell it. Even the cost of buying and selling can be offset with the profit made, especially if you have bought in a sought after area. The tricks to flipping are renovating as quickly and as cheaply as possible. Focus on bathrooms and kitchens as they sell houses, don’t look to extend, stay within the footprint of the house and DIY as much as you can.
Renovate it – This is where you can turn your reality into the dream. If that house is just not doing it for you then make it what you want. See an architect or draftsman for a design that enables you to get what you want from a house. Obviously in order to get your money back on a significant renovation you would need to stay there for some time. But if it’s now become more of the house you wanted, there shouldn’t be too much problem in doing that – so sit back, enjoy the dream house and when you are ready to move again you will have made a tidy profit.
So what do I plan to do. Well… I am falling somewhere between flipping and renovating. But regardless of what I do, I need to make it a home in the meantime. And next time round, I’ll be sure to get it right, hopefully!
–Kim Beaumont is a blogger, mum and renovator in Canberra. Follow her on Instagram.
21 replies on “What can you do when you buy a house then realise you hate it?”
We bought a beautiful home in a sleepy little village back in October 2018. It has views to die for, a stunning garden and features that anyone would love. However, my husband hates it and everthing about it, despite him being the one to push for the move in the first place! I desperately want him to be happy, but it will mean more upheaval and stress, which I can do without. What if we move and he stiil hates it? What if we move and I hate it? What if we don’t move, will he learn to be happy here? I am so confused and getting pulled one way then another. I just want an easy, happy life. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh, I really feel for you, that is so hard! Jen
my husband pick our house from Ca to Washington state, sold our house and moved here. now he hates the house feel uncomfortable and stress. But i love it. I feel the same way what if he hates another house we buy, he might bring something up again that he hates it. I cant be moving
Hi Jen
Your article spells out exactly what I am going through. Everyday I ask myself how did we get it so wrong? My husband likes the house but it is giving me depression and anxiety. I can’t wait to get out but we can’t afford to move again or to renovate. Feeling trapped. What did u do in the end?
I’m going through the same thing here…
I am going to a terrible pain of buying a wrong property. That has no potential and looks like I over paid as well.
I spent years building a checklist of the things I wanted in a house. Turns out I bought a house that met one item on the the list; a decent school district. How did that happen I keep asking myself. I’m suffering from anxiety and depression and I can’t sleep at night.
My son just started high school and I don’t want to disrupt him. With the closing cost of buying and then selling so so soon I would take a huge financial loss. My husband is happy with the house and doesn’t support moving again but it’s killing me slowly.
So sorry to hear that! What’s the biggest issue with the house?
I just did a terrible mistak of buying a house in auction, with little investigation. I payed over a million dollars for a wrong wrong property.
The issue is the house is in main road and just noticed that there is a road widening project in place and the house is 60+ year old non brick house. I put my money considering that the property is on huge block of land.
Now when I look it there I nothing promising with this property. I and my family are in deep deep depression and anxiety. I have not slept for more than in few houses in last 3 weeks.
I just hope that I could cancel this contact and even happy to loose some percent of deposit as well. But as the contact is unconditional, seller is ready to sue me. Please advise what I should be doing.
I feel like a fool and a dum person to throw a million dollar on a land which as no value because of main road.
Plz plz help me
Seek legal counsel immediately!
We sold our home of 40 years and then looked for a new one for 3 1/2 months. We backed out of two homes we had found. We were living with my daughter and grandson and had outlived our stay…in our minds. They were not in any way pushing us out. It was just uncomfortable for us. We bought a house without a lot of consideration and I absolutely hate it. My husband is fine with it but it depresses me every single day. There is no way of fixing what I hate about the house. We are old—78…and I don’t think we can survive selling another house and buying another but I’m open for suggestions. We will lose a lot of money which we can’t afford to do but money is not the only thing in life, is it?
I thought I was in love with the house that I had bought at 26, I was a first time buyer and I was so happy to become a homeowner initially.
I had the most awful gut feeling once I’d exchanged contracts and was actually in the house – I thought I’d be over the moon but I had an awful feeling of impending doom and just picked faults with the house and grew to hate it, despite trying to convince myself to think otherwise.
I stuck it out for a year but my feelings didn’t improve – I was on my own and I’d underestimated the maintenance costs and I always needed help if something was broken or needed mending. I can’t describe the immense depression and anxiety that home ownership brought – for me it stripped me of a lot of freedom and I felt trapped and alone.
I’d settled for a nice house in an area which wasn’t great – which was a big mistake. I thought I was best starting off somewhere then working my way up. I cut my losses and sold up and people thought I was crazy to cut and run when I was on the property ladder to go back to renting!
I’m much happier now – I did lose out financially but I still have enough money to get back on the ladder when I need to. I am now doing a degree, which I wouldn’t have been able to do if I still had the house. I don’t regret selling it, but I regret buying it in the first place!
So glad it worked out for you in the end! Thanks for sharing your story! Jen
My wife and I just bought a house, a big house, with plans to bring my family to spend long periods of time with us. I was the one who pushed for the purchase of a bigger house (we just had a baby and our starter home felt too small). The house we bought was our 2nd option, but now that we’re moved in I hate it with a passion! The area where the house is feels very lonely, there is a LOT of maintenance to be done, fixes and expenses, the house has a pool and an industrial type of sprinkler system that I do not understand. I feel like this was a mistake. The sad thing is that my wife seems to be ok with the house. Im going to give it two years, if I still feel the same I’m selling it!
This is such a tricky situation to be in, Jose! Hope you work it out either way!
I just bought a house and once we moved in I hate it. I want to get get a builder out to the house to make it better but my husband doesn’t won’t to. We bought under budget to be able to make it ours. I’m thinking about adding an egress window and selling in a year. The house then could be considered four bedroom and sell for more I hope. I would have to talk my husband into moving though.
My wife and I bought a house just 6 weeks ago and I hate it. She loves it, but I am getting pretty bad anxiety and getting to the point where I want to stay at work longer and not come home.
Our first home we bought and renovated And sold, we did well.
Now this home it’s on a very busy street, the house is too big, we have spare bedrooms galore, has 2 sheds we don’t have that much stuff. Has got security system which we will Never use, has got a pool which is a luxury but we don’t use that often
I may sound ungrateful, but Moreso trying to say it’s not functional and doesn’t suit our family at all!
I hate it I I was away for a weekend and let her view houses and she put an offer on a house, which I wasn’t too keen on but ended up agreeing now regretting my decision.
I’m not sure how to stay positive. Right now I am counting down the days till we Can sell and not have to pay a hefty mortagage early payment fee (3 years)
We just bought our first house. We are in our 50s. I’ve waited my whole 38 year marriage for this, and I hate the house. I tried to be so careful at every turn, but here I am. We move in this weekend. I’m miserable and feel no connection to this house at all. Maybe it will grow on me. In the meantime I try to act as if I love it. It’s very stressful. Every part of this process is causing me great anxiety.
So sorry to hear! I hope it grows on you!
It has helped to read this article and is starting to calm my mind on how things are…
Moving out of a rental as the owners changed their circumstance and buying in a heated property market has been stressful. My partner and I asked questions about a place we wanted to buy… meanwhile someone who didn’t ask questions bought it.
We then rushed into the present (more expensive / way smaller) place given our time constraints and fear. We waived a few steps we should have taken and it still looked fine but once the contract was signed, it all changed. The seller refused further inspections and refused to provide answers on any topics.
We’ve uncovered some issues we’re not happy with yet are faced with an unconditional contract and a property we don’t want to move into shortly.
Their Agent won’t communicate with us, The Solicitors of the Seller forbade us to ask questions and it’s in a small town which just appears hostile now.
We’ll likely want to sell it again but will have to spend money renovating first to improve things which should have made us reject it. We’ll be fortunate to make back what we spent on it.
This has been a real lesson for us to never make fear based decisions. If we’d held out longer we could have found a better place that suited our needs.
Hi we have a holiday home in a sleepy south coast pat of Adelaide. Our daughter also bought a house near us. We rent our house out in the city, and now that we live here I am jealous of the tenants that rent our house in the city. I am loosing sleep and it’s affected me mentally.